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My Mother: My duck's lost his butterfly!
Me: *thinks* Is that supposed to be a metaphor?
My Mother: *looks hurt*

My Mother: I was just wondering... who taught you to drive so fast?
Me: *checks speed limit. Checks speedometer. Both at 50 * O_o?
Me: *spots potentially fun corner and starts to break*
My Mother: No! Don't slow down!

Huh? Just... what?

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