*headdesk*
Jul. 28th, 2010 06:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
echoing_dreamDear Girl'friends',
Thank you for forcing me to see Twilight. Now, rather than admiring Jacob's shoulders from afar and faintly lusting after Kellan Lutz, I am actively seeking Twilight slashfic. Do you know what happens when teenagers who were never taught grammar try to write slashfic? No? Good. It's not pretty, I assure you. Now I'm going to have to write some myself. I hope you're pleased with yourselves. You'd better dig out the second DVD for me tomorrow too, or else there'll be trouble (and I'll hide all the chocolate).
Love and Hugs,
Me.
~*~
Dear Pogue!Muse,
Stop fucking with Reid's car, you're making him twitchy. Stop flirting with the pretty tattoo artist, you're distracting her. Stop trying to think in abstract nouns and long-winded metaphors. This fic is not actually about you.
Marginally less love,
Me.
~*~
Dear Gen Kill!Muse,
Shut up, stand still, and wait your fucking turn. I'll get to you when I get to you, I'm still doing the research.
Out to You.
~*~
Dear Covenant People,
Please carry on with the achingly-hot distractingly-pretty porn. Especially when it involves Tyler being kinky. *licks lips*
Love,
Me.
PS I think Caleb could use some more love, though... *hints*
Thank you for forcing me to see Twilight. Now, rather than admiring Jacob's shoulders from afar and faintly lusting after Kellan Lutz, I am actively seeking Twilight slashfic. Do you know what happens when teenagers who were never taught grammar try to write slashfic? No? Good. It's not pretty, I assure you. Now I'm going to have to write some myself. I hope you're pleased with yourselves. You'd better dig out the second DVD for me tomorrow too, or else there'll be trouble (and I'll hide all the chocolate).
Love and Hugs,
Me.
Dear Pogue!Muse,
Stop fucking with Reid's car, you're making him twitchy. Stop flirting with the pretty tattoo artist, you're distracting her. Stop trying to think in abstract nouns and long-winded metaphors. This fic is not actually about you.
Marginally less love,
Me.
Dear Gen Kill!Muse,
Shut up, stand still, and wait your fucking turn. I'll get to you when I get to you, I'm still doing the research.
Out to You.
Dear Covenant People,
Please carry on with the achingly-hot distractingly-pretty porn. Especially when it involves Tyler being kinky. *licks lips*
Love,
Me.
PS I think Caleb could use some more love, though... *hints*
no subject
Date: 2010-07-30 03:31 pm (UTC)I just... I know it was wrong of me to want to slash Jacob and Jasper, but I have... needs, you know? And... this is clearly my punishment for being a bad person and actually wanting a plot and characterisation and basic grammar and punctuation. I know it's a lot to ask, but... *weeps for her poor abused English language*
*curls up under a blanket to cry* ♥
no subject
Date: 2010-07-30 04:48 pm (UTC)Jackson Rathbone lights my FI-AH! lol
no subject
Date: 2010-07-30 04:54 pm (UTC)But Jasper *purrs* I think I may have a thing for empaths. I'd also kind of like to slash him with Emmett, but Emmett also does not seem to have much in the way of character development. Which makes me sad. Also, Rosalie would probably actually go crazy if Jasper/Emmett ever happened. Do Not Want. *headdesk*