First Lines
Jul. 30th, 2009 12:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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temporal_witch:
List the first lines of your last twenty stories. See if you find any patterns.
1. "I could," Chris threatens, and there's something in his tone that makes Steve stop for just a second, before Jensen laughs and throws a controller at Chris, challenging him to prove just how dexterous his fingers are, and the moment's gone.
2. The world had changed.
3. He felt the echo of the power thrumming through Caleb, reaching out to rest a placating hand on his friend’s arm as Tyler and Reid shot apart from each other, Tyler dumped on his ass and Reid staggering backwards as he flailed for balance. Reid's eyes blacked out, but Caleb was faster, sparing a meaningful glance at Pogue, who nodded in understanding, before he turned his full attention on Reid.
4. The constant cascade of cold water from the tower combined with the natural coolness that came from being underground kept the lower floors of the Hub relatively comfortable, even in the heights of British summer.
5. Dawn.
6. Chris wakes to an empty bed.
7. Ianto blushes when he feels Jack's eyes on him, and the golden feathers flutter as though the muscles beneath them are quivering.
8. He can hear noises from the bedroom, soft at first, but getting louder, and Chris's fingers tug at the lacing of his boots, fumbling in his haste.
9. "No." Ianto clutched the torn pieces of his shirt to him, standing square on to Owen and refusing to let the doctor treat the wounds on his back.
10. Jeff kisses her slow, deliberate, tongue sliding slick into her mouth as she opens her lips to him, tips her head back to allow him deeper.
11. Nate wakes slowly in the early morning light, enjoying the feel of smooth sheets at his back, the warm body pressed against his side.
12. He looks a Nate's hands, watches them obsessively as Nate briefs them, estimates the size of them as they clench around the steering wheel.
13. Jeff's sofa was the right kind of comfortable: not so soft that Sam felt as though she'd get lost in it, but cosy enough to relax into.
14. Jensen can hear the wet noises of them kissing above him, Chris's muffled groan and the jolt of his hips, cock slamming harder into Jensen as Jeff slides into Chris, both of them grunting even as Jensen rocks between them, blindfold blocking all light, making his skin twice as sensitive to touch.
15. He watches her strip, unselfconscious and just a little bit teasing, fingers sliding into the cup of her bra to stroke over her own nipples even as she snaps the clips, tossing the black material carelessly behind her and barely glancing up at him as she works on her jeans, pulling them briskly off her legs and letting them land on the rest of her discarded clothes.
16. Sam can't remember how the boys managed to convince her that a costume party was a good idea, and she can't even imagine how dressing as a Moulin Rouge dancer ever struck her as remotely clever, especially now, staring at her reddening face in the mirror as she turns this way and that trying to get the damned thing undone so she can change and go home to sleep.
17. It was disorientating not being able to see, having to track Jeff's movements through sound alone, his body physically jumping as Jeff laid a hand on his stomach, fingers splayed wide, resting reassuringly while Jensen waited for his heart to calm, mind racing in both fear and anticipation.
18. He could taste the sweat mixing with the cheap perfume on the back of her neck, her skin deliciously smooth and vulnerable.
19. Dean had always been a fast learner, observant, clever, only ever had to be told an instruction the once and it was lodged in his head forever.
20. The first cut always stung the worst, a sharp bite of steel cutting through flesh, a line of ice and fire combined as it tore while it glided, the silent creep of fear into the edges of his mind.
So, I need to work on the run on sentances. I struggle with first lines, they either have to be overly dramatic or very descriptive (a snippet of 'tell' to get the story going).
Interstingly, my PWPs seem to be primarily present tense, while the more in-depth stuff uses past tense.
temporal_witch:List the first lines of your last twenty stories. See if you find any patterns.
1. "I could," Chris threatens, and there's something in his tone that makes Steve stop for just a second, before Jensen laughs and throws a controller at Chris, challenging him to prove just how dexterous his fingers are, and the moment's gone.
2. The world had changed.
3. He felt the echo of the power thrumming through Caleb, reaching out to rest a placating hand on his friend’s arm as Tyler and Reid shot apart from each other, Tyler dumped on his ass and Reid staggering backwards as he flailed for balance. Reid's eyes blacked out, but Caleb was faster, sparing a meaningful glance at Pogue, who nodded in understanding, before he turned his full attention on Reid.
4. The constant cascade of cold water from the tower combined with the natural coolness that came from being underground kept the lower floors of the Hub relatively comfortable, even in the heights of British summer.
5. Dawn.
6. Chris wakes to an empty bed.
7. Ianto blushes when he feels Jack's eyes on him, and the golden feathers flutter as though the muscles beneath them are quivering.
8. He can hear noises from the bedroom, soft at first, but getting louder, and Chris's fingers tug at the lacing of his boots, fumbling in his haste.
9. "No." Ianto clutched the torn pieces of his shirt to him, standing square on to Owen and refusing to let the doctor treat the wounds on his back.
10. Jeff kisses her slow, deliberate, tongue sliding slick into her mouth as she opens her lips to him, tips her head back to allow him deeper.
11. Nate wakes slowly in the early morning light, enjoying the feel of smooth sheets at his back, the warm body pressed against his side.
12. He looks a Nate's hands, watches them obsessively as Nate briefs them, estimates the size of them as they clench around the steering wheel.
13. Jeff's sofa was the right kind of comfortable: not so soft that Sam felt as though she'd get lost in it, but cosy enough to relax into.
14. Jensen can hear the wet noises of them kissing above him, Chris's muffled groan and the jolt of his hips, cock slamming harder into Jensen as Jeff slides into Chris, both of them grunting even as Jensen rocks between them, blindfold blocking all light, making his skin twice as sensitive to touch.
15. He watches her strip, unselfconscious and just a little bit teasing, fingers sliding into the cup of her bra to stroke over her own nipples even as she snaps the clips, tossing the black material carelessly behind her and barely glancing up at him as she works on her jeans, pulling them briskly off her legs and letting them land on the rest of her discarded clothes.
16. Sam can't remember how the boys managed to convince her that a costume party was a good idea, and she can't even imagine how dressing as a Moulin Rouge dancer ever struck her as remotely clever, especially now, staring at her reddening face in the mirror as she turns this way and that trying to get the damned thing undone so she can change and go home to sleep.
17. It was disorientating not being able to see, having to track Jeff's movements through sound alone, his body physically jumping as Jeff laid a hand on his stomach, fingers splayed wide, resting reassuringly while Jensen waited for his heart to calm, mind racing in both fear and anticipation.
18. He could taste the sweat mixing with the cheap perfume on the back of her neck, her skin deliciously smooth and vulnerable.
19. Dean had always been a fast learner, observant, clever, only ever had to be told an instruction the once and it was lodged in his head forever.
20. The first cut always stung the worst, a sharp bite of steel cutting through flesh, a line of ice and fire combined as it tore while it glided, the silent creep of fear into the edges of his mind.
So, I need to work on the run on sentances. I struggle with first lines, they either have to be overly dramatic or very descriptive (a snippet of 'tell' to get the story going).
Interstingly, my PWPs seem to be primarily present tense, while the more in-depth stuff uses past tense.
no subject
Date: 2009-07-30 04:00 pm (UTC)I also try for opening lines that 'grab' - that take the reader by the hand and lead him / her into the landscape of the story. You do that so well, baby!
Most of the ones I listed were drabbles, though, cos I suppose I have time to write more of those than proper fics. *sigh* One of these days, I'll write longer ones.
Love you so much! ♥
no subject
Date: 2009-07-30 08:58 pm (UTC)I was taught this technique for essays, and took it to heart. If your opener grabs and your last paragraph/sentance is thought provoking and memorable, markers rate you higher because they tend to read through first to get a feel of it, and then mark. So now I apply that logic to everything.
I didn't add in the comment_fics because they were hard to put into the right order.
Love you more! ♥